I didn’t think I would actually write this year. But it is important that I do.. that I remember this day and can look back at it next year and see how the sixth year went for me.
I’d say that out of the six years I’ve now been clean that this one just the last 6 months have been the most trying most difficult but most rewarding. It is crazy to think back to this day and really really take a look at where I was six years ago. September 22. 2005 and onto the 23 I was ridiculously not “checked” in. I can so vividly remember my mom taking off my door and making me kneel while she prayed for my soul. I found it such a joke but how thankful am I today. I had my mama praying and begging God to move in me and for me to quit using meth. He answered her prayer even though I didn’t fully realize it at that point. This morning I’m not sure why but the Wednesday before all of this went down September 21 I remember being at youth group and feeling so convicted but not knowing what that even was at the time. I just felt so rotten and like everyone knew what I was doing, I felt like a fraud and like I didn’t belong.
Looking back I see how God had been preparing me for the surrendering I would be doing the next couple of weeks. It started with deciding that September 23 that I would never ever do meth again and it continued the next couple weeks as I decided to leave Monroe and go to that winter retreat at Angels Crest. There although I can’t remember the message like at all, I surrendered my life to Christ I realized the depth of my sins and how much of a Savior I really needed. He showed me that I could not find fulfillment in drugs or any other self destructive thing that I had been doing over the years.
Today I’ve been reminded of who I was and the fact that I never have to be that person again. I no longer have to feel empty and like I need to self medicate. Jesus is all I need and I pray that He will always be all that I need. The cross is what has gotten me this far.. but not the wooden thing no the person who gave their life on it. I am forever thankful that I’ve been ransomed that I’ve been redeemed that I’ve been made new.
Although this year a few temptations have crept back up God reminded me constantly of His Son and the fact that I don’t need to turn to those any more.
Thank you x a gazillion Lord. I pray that this next year.. the 7th year I’ll be clean that I continue giving the glory to you and realizing the depth of my sins and not forgetting how important You are and how important what You did on the cross for me is.
God is just so awesome. He’s more than awesome there is so much He has been teaching and showing me. A big post is coming soon! But…
Today while at work wow it was awesome. This morning when I was having my personal time with the Lord I cried out to Him and asked for constant reminders of Him throughout the day. For His patience and understanding throughout the day but when He would help me understand and help me not snap at the kids that I would realize it’s Him not me. And wow did God do that! There’s a kinder girl who comes in crying every single day and I was getting frustrated and mad and was telling her not to cry. And God totally on the spot showed me how to reach out to her and love her, putting myself last and His child first. She quit crying within a few minutes and I realizes wow Lord thank you!
He is a God that answers prayers and moves.
Hands down best trip ever.
So incredibly happy for Jon and the new adventure God is gonna take him on with his wife, Chelsea!!
& this is how it all went down for those of you who have been asking for details!!
Yesterday was May 28,2011. Dj had just graduated from CSUN on Wednesday so I was taking him out for dinner and a movie. We ate dinner at Macaroni Grill, a place that whenever something special is going on it’s always top of our list to celebrate there.
So we enjoyed a yummy dinner, ordered the same thing we always do finished up and walked to the car. The whole time I was going on and on about his graduation and what someone asked they should get him. He says the whole time he was trying to find a way to make me be quiet so he could ask. haha typical me not getting the hint. When we finally reached the car he opened my door like he always has for the last idk really long time. He hugged me and thanked me for all the support I’ve given him over the years with school and for all the support I’ll continue to give him the rest of his life… you would think that sirens would be going off when he said that but no. As I sat down in the car he had already dropped to his knee, opened the box and asked if I’d marry him. I have no idea how he moved that quickly.
I was in such shock and still can’t quite grasp that I am finally engaged and another step closer to being Mrs. Gennovario. I didn’t quite say yes for a while. I freaked out and repeated many times “you’re kidding me” or “oh my gosh” or “no way” or I just said his name multiple times while combining all of those. Some point in there he told me its a real ring and if its a yes. I replied of course its a yes! But for some reason I just couldn’t take the ring. When I finally did ahhh! It fits perfectly and is so beautiful and i’m so so excited. I then went on to text my baby sister Angelina then Bre-Ann and Tatiana!
It was such a shock and although to some people this might not seem like how they do it on tv. But it was so so much better! I get to marry my best friend, the bully, my amazing, the guy who has been here for me for every freak out every exciting moment, every moment that I have over exaggerated about. He is willing to deal with crazy, emotional, weird, bratty, ocd me for the rest of his life.
I am so happy with all that God has done to get us to this point. I know that theres still so much more to come but wow. Thank you God for getting us to this point and for making it so that Dj never gave up on me!
I love you babe! And can’t wait to see where God leads us<3
It’s official! I’m engaged =]
(Taken with instagram)
-seeing these kinda makes me miss my gauges!